So I told you I would share with you "The three R's" from Bob Harper's book the next time I wrote a blog post. He shares these with his clients after they have "looked at themselves in the mirror, inside & out, and created an objective distance from their baggage, and have reached the place of really being ready."
The three R's are: RELAX, RESPECT and REINFORCE. Bob says, "When you relax your body and mind, when you develop respect for your body, and when you begin to reinforce positive behaviors, you truly are ready to take responsibility and change your life."
So for me learning to relax was very hard and still is. I haven't learned to be comfortable in quieting my mind and body. It's something I am still working on. I read another book about 3 or 4 months before I started my weight loss journey called "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown. (It's another I highly recommend.) In the book I learned about shame, forgiving and daring greatly. It was part of the preparation for me being able to go on this journey. I worked through a lot of issues of shame. I was able to forgive my father and ask forgiveness from him. We now have a honest and loving relationship with one another. I also learned to dare greatly and start dreaming again. When this happened I learned to relax a little more. I learned how to let go of the things that don't matter and not take things so personally. It's a daily process of doing a little bit better today than yesterday.
Bob says, "A relaxed state of mind is one that helps you stay balanced in your life. What helps you maintain balance? The answer lies in two things managing your time efficiently and creating "me" time each day in which to relax, so that you stay grounded and in touch with your inner self." I believe this wholeheartedly. My workout every morning helps to keep me grounded. It's the time when I just take care of me.
The second R is Respect. Respect means we have to come to accept ourselves and our bodies at our starting point. This is hard for me and many others. I had to learn to find something about my body that I loved and accepted. I have always loved my eyes. So I use them to see all of me and accept myself for who and how I am at each stage of my journey. Bob said, "If I don't love me, how is anyone else going to love me? With acceptance comes respect." He continues, "When you begin to see your body as a vessel to treasure and take care of, then you actively show respect for your body, mind and soul. Respect becomes a tangible thing, a concrete action." Once I could love myself and accept myself at 402.6 lbs then it helped me to stay motivated and find the strength to take care of myself each day.
The last R is Reinforce. "When you renew your commitment each and every day, you reinforce your forward momentum, remind yourself of your goals, and refresh your confidence that you can and will achieve your goals. Reinforcing your commitment is a constant, lifelong responsibility. Each day, you need to positively affirm all that you are doing for yourself." Bob shares this under Reinforce. My journey has had many ups and downs. I have to reinforce my commitment to myself everyday. When I write down my accomplishments, failures and goals then I can look back and see that I am making changes and it does give me confidence to keep going.
The writing process has been one of the most beneficial parts of my journey so far. It keeps me honest about my feelings and desires. It helps me when I go back and read to see what works for me and what doesn't. I also track my food intake and exercise on myfitnesspal.com I put everything in that I eat whether it's a healthy day or not so healthy day. It keeps me accountable to myself and it reinforces my commitment to myself and my weight loss goals. My user name is Kara2 on myfitnesspal if you decide this might be a good tool for you. There is a lot of support and motivation from my friends there that help to keep me on track. I would love to encourage you and be your friend on this website.
So the three R's are: Relax, Respect and Reinforce. Remember it is a "constant lifelong responsibility" we have to ourselves. Take the time necessary to relax, show yourself respect and reinforce the positive changes you are making. I love myself enough to stay committed to my dreams and goals. It's a constant battle but one that I intend to win.