Friday, August 16, 2013

My Journey Begins

What got me started was a diabetes diagnosis. I have struggled with my weight since I was a toddler. I can't remember ever being thin. I used food as a way to cope with my feelings whether they were happy or sad. I read a book in January of this year by Bob Harper called "Are you ready?" The writing exercises in this book changed me forever. I changed they way I looked at food. When I changed my relationship with food it no longer soothed or brought comfort when I was feeling sad, angry, depressed or happy. Food finally lost it's power over me. I am trying to make this a permanent lifestyle change. I have finally learned what a portion size is. That has made a ton of difference. I eat my favorite foods not just celery and salad. I just eat the correct portion for the food. I don't feel deprived and I have had success. I have been at this journey for 133 days and I have lost 73.8 lbs. I started at 402.6 lbs so this might not be typical for everyone. I have reversed the diabetes diagnosis. I have completed three 5K's(walking for now.) a one mile race and I am planning to do three more 5K's before the end of the year. I feel after trying and failing so many times to get this weight off this time is different because I have changed my way of thinking. I am not on diet. I am trying to add back years onto my life so I can stop living on the sidelines for the second half of my life. I have stumbled and had to pick myself up and begin again. It's not easy to change yourself from the inside out but I believe and have read others stories on here that no matter how many times they have stumbled. They pick themselves up, dust themselves up and keep going. In my second 5K I had to literally do this. I was at about mile 2 and I started believing all the people who think I cannot do this. I hit a mental wall and I sat down and cried for 15 minutes. These two sweet ladies sat by me and let me cry. When I knew the only way I was going to get off the trail was either by my own feet or in an ambulance, I dug deep into my reserves and got up and finished the race. I was last but that wasn't the important thing. I didn't quit. I picked myself up and finished. Our lifestyle change is like this. No one else can do this for us. No magic pill exists. We choose what goes in our mouths each day, we choose whether we are going to be active and exercise. If we love ourselves enough then we get up each day and make the best choice for us. My little successes keep me motivated but each person has to motivate themselves. 'My Fitness Pal' is a great tool and I love the support from people all over the world. But I know that I am the only one that's going to get myself out of bed to exercise, eat the food that helps my body to work properly and continue to make this lifestyle change permanent.

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